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RenewingMinds
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A PERSONAL TESTIMONY
I
was born and raised liberal/cultural Catholic in the
United States, attending Traditionalist-style
parochial schools until late grade school. Our family regularly attended Mass,
made confession, and observed holy days. I became well versed in the
Baltimore catechism, served as an altar boy, and was encouraged to consider a
vocation in the priesthood. I briefly attended an all-boys Jesuit high
school, but the excess of sin and carnality at the school seemed rather odd at
that time. [The sad truth of this matter is now more open for many to
see.] Being a typical American Catholic, my religiosity provided me with
an occasional guilty conscience but did little to confront or deal with my
self-centered hedonism. Like most others, I didn't consider being
simultaneously amoral and religious all that abnormal or wrong and thus
overlooked and ignored the widespread hypocrisy among both Catholic leaders and
the community. As many respond, "Aren't we all just sinners?"
While at college, my promiscuous pursuits were paralleled with the study of psychology, philosophy, experimenting with hallucinogenic drugs, occult, eastern and New Age religions. Rather than gaining insight or answers, my journey brought me to an unexpected but logical conclusion----nihilism. "For the wages of sin is death..." (Romans 6:23). Burned by the gross hypocrisy of Catholicism and crushed by contemplating the 'emptiness and meaninglessness' of a universe without God, I cried out into my self-imposed void. Abandoning my pantheistic beliefs and reverting to a childhood understanding of a personal God, I asked, "God, are you there?" Without any certainty whether He existed, I acknowledged that I had made a mess of my life, and subsequently beckoned the Lord Jesus Christ to give meaning, bring peace, and rescue me from my lost condition. On October 9, 1969, without a priest or sacrament, positive self-image, or elevated state of consciousness; I became a new-creation Christian based on the simple truth,
Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord [Jesus Christ] will be saved (Romans 10:13).
Sensing an immediate change, but not understanding the nature of what was happening, I was directed to a document foreign to me--the Bible. As I opened and turned to the New Testament, I found the words of Scripture--"living and active" (Hebrews 4:12). I made the startling discovery from reading the Gospel of John that I had been "born a second time," and was now spiritually alive unto God. Foremost, I was aware of a new "Living" presence--the Risen and Ascended Lord Jesus Christ. Immediately, the prior immoral behavior faded away and I began to grow in my Christian life and experience.
My parents, unsuccessful in their effort to see me return to the more 'normal' (dead and hypocritical) religion of Catholicism became verbally and physically abusive (Matthew 10:34-36). Their own religious insecurity drove them to hate and intolerance. Due to unrelenting opposition and their growing violent attitudes, I was obligated to remain at a distance to manage the conflict. I was viciously expelled from the comatose Catholic tradition and received a rude dose of the reality spoken of by the Lord, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world That is why the world hates you" John 15:18,19.
Later, the situation took an ironic twist. After three years of no communications, my mother also became a new-creation Christian and the family hostility temporarily shifted focus to her. Upon reflection she stated, "We (she and my father) were so full of arrogance and pride, that we strongly resented the idea that you could be right and we were wrong." Sadly, the hostility and alienation from Catholic relatives was more than she could bear and later she chose to walk with the world rather than bear its hatred. Nearly thirty five years have passed and my Catholic relatives are as morally corrupt and hostility as ever. So much for today's ecumenical tolerance and the 'new' Catholicism. World-wide, numerous Catholics, Jews, Muslims, etc., are held captive to their religions out of fear of reprisal--often extreme from family members. For centuries, the Roman Catholic Church has relied on the dynamic of coercion by proxy (sometimes extreme and even violent) to bolster and maintain its totalitarian hold on its one billion and growing membership. See Why Conflict and Division?
Throughout
these ordeals, the Lord has established me in the truths of Scripture.
Subsequently from the corner in my apartment
on campus, I began an intensive study of God's Word. As the Holy
Spirit began to clarify (John 16:13-14) the truth to my mind, my studies
expanded to include historical theology and church history. I immediately
became curious about why there was such a diversity and tension amongst those
who consider themselves 'born-again' Christians. In addition to my study
of the Word, I was also introduced to a wide array of Christian literature and
adopted the standard of the Berean Christians who,
...received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true (Acts 17:11).
It was at this time (1969-70) I became introduced to the writings of Christian author, Miles J. Stanford. Stanford's literature possessed an unique quality in comparison to everything else I was reading. In addition, I was made aware of his correspondence ministry and began a serious dialogue via mail. Further, as a serious youth with a burning desire to have the Lord's best, I also began attending various evangelical college groups and numerous denominational and non-denominational churches in the area. Sensing the web of tension between groups, I was motivated to gain an understanding of both the historic and contemporary differences within 'Christendom'.
Within a few months of my conversion, I became involved with Campus Crusade for Christ, International ("CCC"). Initially unaware of its humanistic roots and ecumenical bent, I participated in local college activities and later traveled to Arrowhead Springs, the organization's then headquarters in San Bernardino, California. After many hours of theological reading and study of the Scriptures, I became aware of the organization's Arminian character in contrast to the Apostle Paul's Gospel of Grace [e.g., also see Richard Quebedeaux, I FOUND IT!, The Story of Bill Bright and Campus Crusade, Harper & Row, 1979]. When my small, grace-oriented bible study began to influence Zachary Bright, Bill's son; Dr. Bright personally confronted me regarding my understanding of the doctrine of salvation. Like Henrietta Mears (founder of the National Sunday School Association and Gospel Light Publications) before him, Bill was staunchly ecumenical and opposed to the Apostle Paul's distinctive Gospel of Grace. Correspondingly, as one saved by grace, I was shocked at what was going on inside the organization. Consequently, I took steps to disassociate myself from the movement. After several exit conferences in which CCC executives attempted to dissuade me of my beliefs, they granted me their 'permission' to leave Arrowhead Springs!
Having developed a general dispensational view of Scripture and having come to the conclusion (after five years of intensive study) that the Arminian /Wesleyan /Pentecostal /Charismatic realms were far removed from the true work of the Holy Spirit and the Risen and Ascended Lord Jesus Christ, I shifted my attention to understanding the Reformed /Calvinist /Puritan /Covenant movements within Protestantism. Given the fact that a majority within those traditions are soundly grace oriented, my evaluation has been drawn out for over thirty years. For a short time, I participated in the dispensational wing of the Sovereign Grace Movement and briefly attended Dr. Kenneth Good's North Olmstead Baptist Church in Ohio. His books, Are Baptists Calvinists? and Are Baptists Reformed? along with others like THEONOMY - A Reformed Critique, by Barker & Godfrey helped me see that the Reformed tradition was anything but homogeneous. Finally, the works of John N. Darby, William R. Newell, Lewis S. Chafer, and particularly Miles J. Stanford have been instrumental in enhancing my understanding of Scriptural Christianity--Paul's Gospel of Grace, exclusively given to the Church by the Risen and Ascended Lord Jesus Christ.
In 1996, I sensed a need and received the opportunity to begin publishing to the Web several articles which I had written through the years. In addition, the Lord opened the door to help extend the correspondence ministry of Miles Stanford into the same realm. By the fall, we had the Web sites up and running as well as being the official webcurator for MJS. Up until October 1999, Miles established new correspondents and received a number of weekly emails. Since my wife and I are both employed full-time (accounting and bank supervision), the Lord graciously maintains our current correspondent list at a reasonaable level. We continue to receive inspiration and encouragement for this ministry and work to enhance its effectiveness in providing safe and sound Christian growth material to those who reach out in need.
We invite you to write to us via email, just click on our picture for stationary.
In Memory of Miles J. Stanford
- Dan R. Smedra
- October 2, 1999
In his letter to the Thessalonians, the Apostle Paul wrote,
"Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those [believers] who fall asleep [that is--experience death], or to grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope."
My friendship with brother Miles began in 1969, shortly after the Lord graciously saved me from serious ruin. After coming to an appreciation of his writings, I discovered that Miles lived in Colorado Springs and was engaged in a correspondence ministry with Christians who were hungry for spiritual growth.
As one with a heart of a true shepherd--both faithful and firm, Miles assumed the role of a surrogate father in my life through his personalized correspondence. Through his ministry, he extended to me a taste of the heavenly Father's love and care, tirelessly worked to see me established in sound doctrine and the risen Lord Jesus Christ.
A lot of give-and-take took place over the past thirty years by way of letters, phone conversations, and email. The Lord wonderfully cultivated mutual respect and gave us warm fellowship on numerous occasions.
In 1996, the Lord motivated me to see that Miles needed his "voice" within the new communication realm of the Internet. Not coincidentally, the Lord had placed this on Miles' heart as well. Within a period of time, we published his "Home Page" and he was sending and receiving email correspondence. In these last three years, he and I enjoyed fun times in this endeavor.
I want to close by sharing a comment, I received via email, from another brother who expresses my feelings and likely many of yours as well. He writes,
Yes, I'll miss Miles too. He's doing today what he's been doing for fifty years-Abiding Above. But now [quote] "sans the Old Adam-- I" [end quote]. There I am: hid with Christ in God. But on the other side with Christ in glory, there is beloved Miles gazing into the eyes of Love, far beyond the circuit of the postman or access to the Internet. And here I sit, somewhat misty-eyed ... remembering with joy Miles' kindness, the attention to detail in his letters, and the priceless treasure of his leading me to the risen Lord Jesus.
Mail this page to a friend- SEATED
- ASCENDED
- RAISED
- BURIED
- CRUCIFIED
