HOMOSEX AND THE CHRISTIAN

The Making, and Breaking, of Homosexuality

Miles J. Stanford

PSEUDO-HOMOSEX?

There is a widespread practice of sexual sin that may be classed as pseudo-homosex. The problem consists of being involved in the sin of sexual perversion for a period of time, but then getting clear of it and onto the normal ground of heterosexualism.

To illustrate, we will share a typical incident that was recorded in Inter-Varsity's His magazine some years ago.

When I was in nursing school, I took an interest in the spiritual life of my classmates. I became overly concerned with one particular girl, and our friendship began to control both of our lives until we had few other friends.

We both had boyfriends in the Army stationed overseas which added to our problem. We were friends for months before we began to indulge in homosex practices. We too thought it was one of those rare "David-Jonathan" relationships.

Our homosexual partnership lasted for a year, and during that time our Christian witness was greatly affected. We lived not to please God but to please ourselves. There were moments when we felt very guilty but we always managed to rationalize enough to condone our sin. My friend was engaged and I was to become engaged when my boyfriend returned home, so this also helped us not to classify ourselves as actual homosexuals.

My friend's fiancé came home first and our sexual activities gradually declined. Several months before they were married, we had altogether ceased our sinful perversion. It was no easy task to refrain, but with much prayer and determination we did. After she was married, I felt lost for months and cannot express how difficult a time it was.

On our first meeting after the wedding we discussed our past problems and she commented that it all seemed like a bad dream. After experiencing a health heterosexual relationship in marriage, she could not understand how our sinful alliance ever developed.

I was married a year later. I too cannot understand how we allowed self to control our Christian lives during that year. The only good which came out of the terrible time was that we both now know that we are capable of any type of sin if and when we do not allow Christ to control our lives.

Whether or not this is a valid example of what might be termed pseudo-homosex is hard to say. One must be extremely careful in evaluating such matters, but it also must be said that both are guilty of homosexual sin. Sad to say, many such borderline cases do not turn out as this one apparently did. In many instances of this nature, one or even both participants have their conscience so sin-seared that they no longer intend to enter the realm of marriage, nor do they even seem to want to recover fellowship with the Lord.

CRIPPLING COMPANIONSHIP -- It is understandable when an older, lonely woman draws a younger girl to herself for companionship. Such a friendship can be spiritually healthy and beneficial to both. There are instances, however, where the younger one becomes enamored, and the elder becomes increasingly demanding and possessive; where jealousy enters the picture if the younger attempts to cultivate other friends--especially boys. Even if there is nothing of an erotic nature involved, the young person should not allow herself to be monopolized and isolated by the blandishments of an older friend.

BISEXUALISM -- As we have already stated, bisexuality is the capacity for erotic relations with either sex. Most homosexuals insist that those who are capable of bisex are not homosexual at all; they claim that an authentic homosexual is not able to engage in erotic activity with an opposite sex.

However, true that may be, the bisexual does participate in the perversion of homosex. Apart from masturbation, bisexualism is the most prevalent sexual sin among Christians. And, whether or not it can be classed as outright homosexuality, the bisex abomination is far more widespread among Christian women than men. Our conservative estimate, after thirty years of ministry in the realm of Christian homosex, is that there are at least ten times more females involved than males.

It is for this reason that we will concentrate upon the sin of lesbianism and female bisexuality in the remainder of this paper. This is in no way a matter of discrimination, but of dealing with a particular problem among Christians. Other gross sins there are that need to be with, but not this Tri-S paper.

There are several reasons for this prevalence of female homosex, some obvious, some obscure. It may be that the female is more sensitive and vulnerable to the devastation of a maladjusted home life and upbringing. Also, insensitivity and outright mistreatment on the part of the male, especially in the role of husband, may well be a major cause for the wife to seek emotional and sexual satisfaction in the female sphere.

Moreover, it is much easier for two women to live together without creating undue suspicion than it is for men to so live. It is common procedure for two lesbians to cohabitate in order to "split expenses," for instance. It is more likely a matter of split personalities.

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(Materials by Miles J. Stanford are republished here under exclusive permission from the author.)