HOMOSEX AND THE CHRISTIAN

The Making, and Breaking, of Homosexuality

Miles J. Stanford

NEEDED: SPIRITUAL MEN!

Conditions being what they are today in the world, the church, and the Christian home, it is no longer adequate (if it ever was) to be a good Christian husband and father. By "good" Christian we mean one who provides for and seeks to maintain a Christian home, who assumes the spiritual leadership therein, and is involved in Christian service both inside and outside the church.

Although all of this is essential and commendable, it is insufficient to guard against and prevent what we are considering here, i.e., the conditions that cause not only a homosexual attitude, but actual homosexuality among Christians.

The greatest need today in the Christian home, the church, and the world is spiritual men! What we all too often have instead are men who look and act like women, and, consequently, women who look and act like men. It is spiritual manliness that qualifies for and attracts a spiritual and feminine woman as a true helpmate for Christian marriage.

The Word of God calls for nothing less than spiritual manliness for all areas of Christian leadership. "Watch, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong" (I Corinthians 16:13). Spiritual manliness must have absolute priority in the life of the Christian male! And that requires solid spiritual growth.

J. B. Stoney made no exceptions. "How many make everything of some type of ministry, instead of seeking to be a pattern man, one standing here for God. Some are called to the former, all are called to the latter." Today a growing number of Christian men are so unmanly that they cannot maintain a clear-cut stand for the Word of God and the Son of God!

WANTED: SPIRITUAL HUSBANDS -- "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church" (Ephesians 5:23). It is absolutely essential for the Christian husband to assume and maintain headship as to his wife, family, and home. Cooperative and loving leadership, yes; but there must be responsible spiritual control exercised by the husband. As in all else, this is only possible by means of the exchanged life--"not I, but Christ."

Unless the leadership is primarily in the hands of the husband, there will be failure and frustration in the marriage. The husband's manliness will stimulate and bring forth the wife's womanliness. Conversely, if the husband manifests an effeminate attitude and thereby fails in his responsibility as a man and leader, the wife may develop a masculine aggressiveness that takes over the leadership, thereby causing imbalance.

If the tendency is not already present, it is under such conditions that the wife becomes vulnerable to the sin of lesbianism. Without her husband's love and leadership she may seek to have these needs fulfilled by another man, or woman; she may become the willing victim of the ever-present adulterer, or an aggressive lesbian.

FATHER FAILURE -- "For better, or for worse." What the husband is to his wife, the father is to his children. It is the Christian husband's failure in love and leadership concerning his wife that is going to bring his children down. He cannot afford to fail!

FATHER-SON -- Manliness on the part of the father is the foremost need in the matter of healthy development of the sons in a Christian family. From their earliest years on to adulthood, boys require the strong and loving influence of their father. "Children want your presence more than your presents." And they know, too, when it is just physical presence.

"It has been well said that 'the greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother'; and it should be added--to love their Saviour. The primary need in a son's life, at every stage of development, is to have a manly father who is spiritually, morally, and emotionally mature. For healthy life development, a boy needs to be able to identify with his father in his godly masculinity.

The most common pattern leading to the effeminate tendency of the male is as follows: Masculine weakness on the part of the father, resulting in submissiveness to the mother, which has a direct effect upon the sons. This reversal of roles often causes the young son to begin turning away from masculine behavior.

When the father is preoccupied with his work, including time he spends in church responsibilities and other Christian service; when he is passive, and disinterested in his son, the boy is likely to under-identify with his father, and over-identify with his mother. The result is often a conditioning toward a homosex attitude, as he begins to view life more from the female, than the male, perspective.

Converse characteristics in the father can likewise influence the son toward the feminine realm. If there is unloving domination and harsh, arbitrary leadership by the father, the effect will be the same as no leadership. The only answer to true fatherhood and manhood is a growing conformity to "the man, Christ Jesus."

FATHER-DAUGHTER -- Even more than the son, the daughter has great need of a well-adjusted and loving parental relationship with which to identify. If there is conflict and competition between father and mother, the daughter may become prejudiced against marriage, and fearful of its consequences.

If the father lacks manliness and strong, loving spiritual leadership, the daughter may fail to develop a right respect and admiration for men. Rather, she may seek to have her needs more exclusively met in the world of women.

Paradoxically, if the father is too attentive to the daughter, making a pet of her, or being unduly intimate, hostility toward the mother may result. She may ultimately lack the necessary female development in her life and acquire a predominantly male outlook and attitude--another contributing factor in the direction of lesbianism.

If the father is weak and hypocritical the daughter may tend to hold men in contempt, thus disinclining her to the prospect of marriage and leading her towards unhealthy female relationships.

Furthermore, with the present-day influence of so-called female liberation, it is all too easy for the father to steer a daughter into sports competition with boys. If "successful," she may fall prey to the masculine philosophy of life upon which aggressive lesbianism is based: "What men can do, we can do!" (How's that again?)

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(Materials by Miles J. Stanford are republished here under exclusive permission from the author.)